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Day 3, July 10th

broken image

I love this quote, it's right to the point. And it gives a purpose to those days when I just can't raise my energy or my spirits. It reminds me that maybe I'm just going through something, and maybe if I go through it something useful will come from it. It's a poetic formula that says hang in there. 

There are just days when I feel blue. I don't know exactly how to label it. I know that life circumstances play a role, and so does making peace with the past. And I also know that I'm prone to melancholy, but that I don't mind. It pairs with my love for rain and fog and cloudy days and a hot cup of coffee. Melancholy has a contemplative nature to it as well, and I just think I'm wired that way. It's a way of being, and this I'm cool with. But the other stuff? Not so cool with those feelings. They don't pair well with anything. Different from melancholy, which can actually, weirdly, be enjoyed, these things have to be addressed.

I know some people treat running as therapy, but I've come to learn that even as impactful and as central as running has become in my life, running isn't the answer to these feelings, but it does serve a purpose in managing what's on my plate. These blue feelings lobby hard for me not to run, but luckily running will have none of that. It's got things to offer that will help, and I'm grateful to have it, even if I am quietly griping to myself while I put on my running shoes.

Running gives me structure, a routine to hang my hat on. Going for a run offers time away and a diversion from whatever is weighing on me, especially when the run is an interval session that requires concentration. Running gives me goals that I am accountable to, and people that I'm accountable to as well. My perspective seems to find a good balance after a run, and sweat and endorphins seem to help ground me too. Running doesn't fix anything, but it does give me subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) lessons that can only come from moving my body and challenging myself, something that eludes me when I decide to stay put.

Most of all, running feels like a loyal friend--always waiting in the wings, always ready to go, always telling the truth about my life. Sometimes running doles out tough love, and other times it gives me a satisfying good job. But it always, always delivers the message: No Mud, No Lotus.