"I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit." Elizabeth Gilbert
Oh my god, AMEN.
There really isn't anything better than saying that's enough. It takes sooo much effort to carry the bullshit, even the small amounts that seem manageable and are hardly, if at all, noticeable to the outside world.
When you say that's enough, you get this big hit of relief, and then, dear god! The strength and courage it takes to actually surrender, to cease resistance, to yield, to give over is unparalled.
And yes, give over, not give up. To me this distinction is key: Give over, to me, is surrender. It implies work, but brand new work that you've never done before, and on something or someone else's terms. You don't get to make the rules anymore. Giving up is something else entirely. It implies that you're not going to do anymore work. You're going to just find a way to conceal and carry the bullshit. But bullshit stinks, so good luck with that.
I have no idea why I was given the grace to finally get tired of my own crap, but I was given that grace. And I surrendered, and then magic started happening. People came into my life, doors opened, walls came down, and I started telling the truth. Once I told myself the truth, the real truth, I kind of couldn't help but tell everyone else. But the converse is also true: even if I hide from the truth, that goes public too.
Not sure why this idea of surrender is poking at me on this cold, January morning--maybe something is coming down the pike. What I have learned is that just becaused you've surrendered once doesn't mean you're done surrendering. It will, like many things, present itself time and time again for practice. And I have a hunch that taking full advantage of the small surrender opportunities will build the wisdom to spot the big ones and the strength to hand it over, whatever it may be.